Here is a sad story with a happy ending. A puppy, abandoned in a bathroom because the owner could not afford to take him with her, as she was fleeing an abusive situation, finds a good Samaritan and a forever home. This puppy is lucky. Many others are not. They either end up severely injured, or killed, or in a shelter, where they often are not adoptable, due to their fear responses.
Venting your anger pushes people away. Blaming others solves nothing. Reach inward to your primary, vulnerable emotions. They are your path to what you crave and need, which is true intimacy and bonding.
If you are the person committing acts of emotional and/or physical violence towards your family, please seek help right away. It is costing you everything you value, to include your freedoms.
To the victims, the abuser does not get better without professional intervention, and it becomes increasingly worse over time, to the point of death for some women. The abuse is not your fault, and there is nothing you can do to make it not happen. What you can do is get help and keep yourself and your children and pets safe.