A Dating Exercise In Challenging Our Notions of Others

couples in parkI read this while researching for ideas to help clients write an attractive dating profiles.  This post made me think back to when I was in college.  When I was in college, I would go out dancing with friends.  I always felt sorry for guys.  They had to walk up to a group of women – we never seem to travel alone – and ask ONE to dance.  I watched too many women reject a guy because he wasn’t tall/short/fatter/thinner/ hairier/ less hairier, etc.  I decided if a guy asked me to dance and he was not giving off the creepy, pervert vibe, that I would dance with him.  I respected that he was courageous enough to ask.  Not all the guys were people I would date, and some were not what I defined as attractive; because I said “yes,” I met so many wonderful, interesting people and made some great friends.  Through these great friends, I met the man who became my husband.

This exercise is from a male blog about dating.  It is geared to women, but I think men can benefit too.  Take a chance and expand your horizons!


The biggest challenge is for women to re-adjust their approach to men. Women usually look for reasons to reject a man. They find the bad things first. This results in a lot of frustrated single women. To start the readjustment, I have this very simple mental exercise:

Every time you see and/or interact with a man, look for something good about him. This includes online dating profiles.

It can be something small.

It can be something big.

It has to be something.

Perhaps you see a sweaty landscaper with stained clothing, working hard at his job. What’s good about him? He’s working hard. That’s a very good thing.

Maybe you have a male colleague who is not the most attractive of physical specimens. But you notice that he has a very nice voice and speaks very thoughtfully. Those are two good things.

You meet a man socially who has a very weak chin and terrible fashion sense. Yet you see that he has beautiful eyes, broad shoulders, and a great sense of humor. Wow, three good things!

You see an online dating profile with bad photos. The words, however, are well put together and are quite appealing. Good things, indeed.

This doesn’t mean changing your standards regarding the men you date. It only means noticing the positive elements in men. That’s the exercise. Simple, no?

Do this for a week. After the week passes, ask yourself this question: “Where are all the good men?”

Guess what, you just spent a week seeing them with your own eyes.

Feel free to copy and paste this into emails, blogs, forums, whatever.

2 Responses to “A Dating Exercise In Challenging Our Notions of Others”

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  1. “I respected that he was courageous enough to ask.”

    A social risk is still a risk. http://theprivateman.wordpress.com/2012/12/05/a-social-risk-is-still-a-risk-2/

    As an aside, I lived in Charleston for a number of years… in West Ashley and downtown (Vanderhorst Street).

    For your clients, I strongly recommend Athol: marriedmansexlife.com

    • admin says:

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