Here is another post from the blog, The Private Man. While I did not agree with all of the examples he gave, if you read the post, you can get the basic idea as to what he is trying to say. Instead of demanding and saying, “I want, I want, You better…,” sell yourself. Why would you be that super person he would want to date? I edited some of the suggestions because some would attract all the perverts. Guys, I am posting one for you next. This, however, could be helpful in thinking of how to let women know you are the greatest guy. Read it and have some fun!
In a nutshell, here are some suggestions:
- Don’t be completely and utterly generic: you know, I love fluffy puppies, romantic dinners, walks on the beach, etc. He states it does not speak well of a woman’s sense of honest introspection.
- Bad Photos are a no-no! It looks like you really do not care and are putting in no effort.
- Women must bring something to the dating and relationship table. Too many women talk about what they want, what they will not put up with, and it comes across and demanding. Who wants to go out with a demanding person? As the blogger states:
A good online dating profile must clearly spell out what a woman offers to her potential paramour and candidate for a committed relationship.
- Men do not want a wimpy woman but they do not want a woman who is so independent that they are not sure why they are there. As he states:
Men want a feminine women but one who is resilient and self-reliant. The feminine attracts the masculine.
- Do specifically state what you offer in terms of what a man actually wants. Consider your audience. Logic and reason tend to be masculine qualities and you need to tailor your message to your audience.
Here are two sample profiles. One, the blogger wrote. The other is culled from comments from an anonymous female. Another woman tried some of these and found her future mate. Here they are.
You won’t hear me nag and complain because I don’t sweat the small stuff. [Men loathe nagging and complaining. It’s sandpaper on our eardrums and on our brains.]Who wants to listen to constant harping?
You will be proud to have me on your arm when we go out in public and your friends will probably be envious. [Dresses, skirts, high heels makeup, and good hair. A man wants to take pride in the woman on his arm.] We all want to feel attractive to our partner, no matter our age. We want him to look his best for us too!
You will never, ever compete with me. [Men compete with each other, not the woman in his life. competitiveness is a masculine trait.] No – this does not mean they don’t like a competent woman – they do. Men like to feel useful and needed.
You will be nicely surprised when I kiss you passionately at unexpected times and in unexpected places. [Affection helps to bond a man to you.] Wouldn’t you be?
You will never see me roll my eyes at you when you say something because I will respect you. [Men want respect and even small signs of disrespect will drive a man away from you. Try that in public and I advise the man to walk away immediately without regret.] Rolling eyes, sucking teeth,wobbly head, huffing and puffing are all signs of contempt. This is a particularly toxic and will kill a relationship faster than you can blink your eyes.
You will see my smile far more often than my frown. [Negative feelings are mostly unnecessary drama for men.] Everybody likes upbeat people.
You will find yourself thinking seriously about my observations on life and current events. [Many men won’t well tolerate a woman who only knows shopping and reality TV.] Hooray! Men really do not like dumb women! Be interesting – get a hobby, read a book.
You won’t be holding my purse at the shoe store. You won’t even BE at the shoe store with me. [Do you see that bored chump in the shoe store holding his girl’s purse? ‘Nuff said.]
Here is the compilation of the anonymous female:
You will not be ignored. I will pick up the phone if you call unless I can’t get to the phone for some reason.
You will never hear me disrespect your friends.
You will not see me take down my friends or complain and pass it off as “snarky” (Lord, I hate that word) humor. Instead, when you laugh it’s because I am actually funny and not mean. A good sense of humor is very important. Laughing at others’ pain is not a sense of humor. It’s mean.
You will not see me pick fights or lose my temper with you or strangers. I’ll deal with people in a calm manner.
You will have a similar world view as me (obviously, this one is chance and less about what I actively do to be a perfect girlfriend).
If I drew a good lot in the parent lottery, you will see that I love mine and respect mine. If I drew a bad lot in the parent lottery, you will see that I have made true efforts to work through my issues.
You will not be my babysitter, landlord, or financial planner because I have that stuff in order.
If you tell me something personal, you know I will not use it against you. This builds trust and turning towards each other. If a confidence is betrayed, they will not tell you anything else.
You will not necessarily see perfection in me all the time, but you’ll see honest, continued effort toward becoming a better girlfriend and wife.
Your goals will be encouraged and supported, not laughed at or disparaged.
I will not drive away your friends and will be polite and gracious no matter what my personal feelings are towards them.
I will not “invite” myself along on guys’ nights out or forbid you certain activities; hunting, fishing, strip clubs, whatever.
I will respect your space and need for privacy; we do not need to be joined at the hip and I will not perform inquisitions. We all need down time.
You will never see any trace of certain products, nor have to hear about female hygiene, health, or beauty issues. (I will never say the words, “do I look fat in…?”)
I hope to grow together with someone to be the cute old couple that still holds hands, flirts, kisses in public and looks deep into each other’s eyes with love, compassion and understanding.
The directions on the site say “talk about your hobbies, goals, what makes you unique and your taste in music.” Well, for me, I guess that’s the fun stuff you talk about as you get to know someone.
So, at the end of the day I’m looking for a relationship, not in a rush but that’s ultimately why I’m here. If you’re looking for the same, I’d love to hear from you.